Thursday, February 18, 2010

A Letter to Rocky Dennis

Dear Rocky,

Do you remember that first letter I wrote to you when I was twelve? Do you recall how I mysteriously lost it and was so upset with myself? I still have no idea where it went to. I think of you every so often and yesterday at 2:55a.m was one of those times. I’ve been staying up late these past nights listening to music. I just don’t feel the need to sleep and the music keeps me focused and dreamy. Oh, the places I’ve been to when I’m half awake and half asleep…I feel so blessed. It’s very unlike me to stay awake at night and still feel energized in the morning after only four to five hours of what’s otherwise known as this little death.

When I wrote to you back in the day, I reached out to you like a younger sister to her older brother. I imagined us in a playground in the park getting sand in our hair and clothes. I was only five when you died on October 4, 1978. Today I write to you like an older sister would to a younger brother. Time has a way of doing that. You are eternally seventeen…

I think of that telling poem you wrote and often recite it to myself.

These things are good: ice cream and cake, a ride on a harley, seeing monkeys in the trees, the rain on my tongue, and the sun shining on my face. These things are a drag: dust in my hair, holes in my shoes, no money in my pocket, and the sun shining on my face.

I’m sorry that some kids can be cruel. I’m sorry that some people know not what they do. I’m sorry you had to carry such a heavy burden. I’m sorry that you had to die so young. If you had been my brother and anyone tried to mess with you, I swear, I would have killed them with a stroke of my pen. But you were loved Rocky. I like the light in your eyes, that smile on your face, your perseverance, your strength. You were a good kid with a solid heart and a strong will.

So, why last night? Why now do you choose to enter my mind? Do you want to tell me something? Huh? If you want Rock, you can visit me in a dream and smile your smile. Maybe, just maybe, I'll even let you speak to me. But I can't make any promises. And no matter what anyone says, you were a beautiful young man with a spirit so bright, one could feel your light from miles away. Just like now. I like how you transcend time and space.

May you rest in peace forever.


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