Friday, April 29, 2011

The Answered Prayer

I learned something today about prayer, and from the most unexpected source. I glanced over the words by accident. It was a fluke. Or was it? All this time I've waited for an answer that I believed would not come, because it hadn't come. No matter the tears, the long showers communing with spirit, the frustration, the pain, I felt abandoned, resigned to my post for good. You do not know how I asked, how I pleaded, how I wondered why they would not hear me, see my heart, the troubles stirring in my mind, why they would not take this burden from me. And there the words were in plain sight on a page written by a woman I do not know. When the Universe does not answer, it is because It knows that you already know what the answer is. I don't think I can fully explain what this statement alone means to someone like me, who's been struggling for clarity. This fog suddenly lifted right before my tired eyes and I could see. Grace had entered. Grace had always been there but I could not see Her. When I read the words, I saw that I did know the answer. I mean, I saw all those spaces where I had known but doubted. I can't believe it but I had always known the answer. I am blessed with the rare opportunity of having the mirror be reflected back to me. I can't express my gratitude. They had faith in me when I did not. They saw through my eyes when I was blind. When I cried, they carried my tears in the chalices of their own hearts. They waited patiently because they knew this day would come. They held me in their arms like a child, with kindness, beauty and love. Real love.