Never To Return

I shouldn't be feeling this way. When you feel like you don't have the support from the one parent you thought would never let you down with their pettiness and unreasonable demands.

I'm trying my best. You'd never know I was hurting. You'd never know I feel like I'm falling apart. You would never know it unless I shared it with you.

As I sit here, I'm ready to let it all flow. I'm just afraid, it wouldn't be a peaceful stream but a gushing waterfall ...reaching for places I've never touched. I know it could be worse. It could all be worse. I'm just so unhappy. Ironically, I feel so dried up. 

I'm going to have my say. In this life. These moments are zipping by. If only I could slow it all down. I don't mean to be a party pooper. Please tell me though, where IS this party ? 

I screwed up somewhere. I took a wrong turn...a wrong turn I keep trying to make right. I've adorned the street with pretty flowers and lush greens. I managed to make ugly, beautiful. Do you know how much energy it took? I don't know if I have it in me anymore. I just don't know.

Get me out of here. Make it the last time I go and never to return.