Tuesday, October 12, 2010

October 9, 2010, 10:15a.m

I sit at the top of the steps of a beautiful wooden platform, about five feet off the ground. Behind me stands a tall painting of the Madonna and Jesus. In front of me, wooden floors, burgundy velvet curtains as well as to the left and to the right, forming a perfect hemisphere. Directly above close to the ceiling are windows where a faint light comes through. I am alone here for just a little while.

I get up and practice a sacred dance and then another. The heat rises and I begin to well up too. I sit back on the platform as though sinking back into a chair, defeated and tired but I am not defeated nor tired. I make sure to be right in the centre of room. I let out a few breaths along with some tears and then look up transfixed staring at a point above. And the words begin to roll off my tongue.

I am the magician that breathes life into my dreams.

I get up, take a few steps forward and try the dances again. I am focused. I want this. I want this more than anything else, to be present in this space where I am free and alive, nowhere and everywhere, with the forces, the elements, with beauty, with God, here, in this now. Nothing and no one can touch me here, not a hair on my head, not even the slightest of gestures. Here, I am.

I feel the power of these dances and so must sit down again. I could keep going but am aware of time, aware that I must go into another room. I wish I could let go but I can't here, not now. The words again begin to flow. I am looking up transfixed.

I summon the fluidity, the calmness, stillness, the lucidity of the waters, and of the oceans. That my cup may runneth over. That my heart may expand beyond myself. That I may love with an open heart and ask for nothing in return, nothing, not a smile, not a gift, not an act of kindness...nothing. Let love be its own reward.

I summon the strength of the earth, and of the pentacle. That my body may serve me well all the days of my life. That I may be rooted and grounded, beautiful and graceful. That I may always have what I need. That I may learn the ways of Nature, of this Mother who is bountiful and yet stern. Let me understand what I must understand.

I summon the fires of all the heavens of the worlds, and of the wand. That I may be imbued with creative spirit. That I may develop my intuition and grow essence. That I may move swiftly when I need to without harm to myself or another. That passion guide me helping me see and work with the difference between ignition and the burning of flame.

I summon the movement and the sharpness of the air, and of the sword. That it may cut away the density of thought and clear the cobwebs of my mind. That I may see truth from illusion, realness from fantasy. That I may walk direct, with purpose and aim.

And it is done.

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